Monster is my Name

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This place, it’s all too familiar, disturbingly comforting in a way. This place lives in the depths of my mind and breathes in my fears. This place came alive when I was a mere kid, much too young to see what I saw while slumber induced. From first glance these woods look nurturing, they have a peaceful presentation, but do not be fooled like I once was for these woods do indeed have werewolves that prowl as the gloomy skies deepen into night. Some monsters reside under beds and some inside the closets that home our latest fashions, mine live here.

This place has many things that go bump in the night and even though I keep the entrance dead bolted and chained some monsters have a way of slipping under the door. I wish that this place had a warming feeling that would flood my inner core. The atmosphere appears endearing, pine trees that make me think of Christmas, a young woman all cozy in the comfort of her hoodie and the calming sense of being one with Mother Nature. And for a few moments it does, then like the flip of switch I see only the monsters that are peering from behind the trees.

This is one feature about myself that I have always and will always hate, almost instantly finding the dark in even the blinding of lights. Now please don’t assume that I am a pessimist or a permanent resident of the emo world, I have just had an interesting life to say the least and this feature was one that came pre-programmed. I didn’t ask for it and at times I wish I could uninstall it, but on the flip side it keeps me grounded when need be. Those woods hold my insecurities and fears, haunting my present and future. A constant battle is what I fight to keep as many of them locked away as I can. For the most part the score remains well balanced and I am learning how to use those fears to my advantage. I am the warrior of these words and my hoodie is my armor. Once in a blue moon I wonder though, am I  truly a warrior or a monster.

I’ll never find my way in a broken mind, there’s no shelter for me… -Seether

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